I think there should be a Speed Dating service where you kiss or have sex at the end of it. You go in to the room and proceed as normal moving from girl to girl at the sound of the gong and have only one minute to see if you’re compatible or not. But then, at the end, when you’re supposed to simply receive the phone numbers of the girls who like you, that should be a "Hook-Up" list. At that point, the girls should either make-out with the guy briefly or if they’re both into it, they just get down to business immediately. THEN they should date. This would get rid of the “First Kiss Factor.” It will already be out of the way. You’ll have nothing to be nervous about. Then you could actually “be yourself.”
Pretty Boy once had a girl offer to make him Apple Pie at 11:30pm if he’d come by her house. Who the hell bakes Apple Pie at 11:30 at night?? Think that was code for something else? Why can’t this happen to me? It’s craziness! His life is like a porno movie some times. Don’t forget the stories about “Hello Kitty,” “The Mormon Girl,” and “Tinkerbell” just to name a few. Now he might seem cool, confident and collected.... But if you look closely, there’s something in the back of his eyes... pieces of a broken heart. A long time ago, there was a girl who broke Pretty Boy’s heart. Over time, he’s been able to put almost all of it back together... but there are still pieces of it floating around that may never fully heal. He hides it well but I really began to notice it when he came to me one day and said he had a crush on someone he worked with...
...wait a minute. Pretty Boy doesn’t get “crushes”. Pretty Boy is just supposed to hook up with chicks and then tell me the awesome stories. I live vicariously through his sexcapades. This sounded like madness. But alas, Pretty Boy is human. He did have a crush on a girl at his work. The Accounting Girl. I had never seen Pretty Boy act the way he did as he talked about her. He described how he'd been trying to talk with this Accounting Girl and how nothing seemed to come out right. In her presences, Pretty Boy became very flustered and nervous, this isn’t like him at all. He doesn’t get nervous. Pretty Boy is the guy who seriously went up to two girls at a bar on a bet and said “Send me on a quest for your love.” Suddenly he was nervous, he didn’t want to simply hookup with this girl... he actually wanted (hold on to your butts) to DATE this girl! Crazytalk, right? Well it was true and it was happening. It took him MONTHS to work up the courage to finally ask this girl out. When he did, he managed to mumble a little and just spit out enough words that she understood what he was trying to ask. She said “sure” and they set up a date for a Wednesday night dinner.Now HIS panic mode set in. It’s nice to see other people have panic modes in their body, it’s not just me. He immediately gets WAY too into his head. He becomes quiet, chews his nails, smokes more cigarettes, legs bouncing. I have to snap my fingers in front of his face just to get him to get out of his head. He’s overthinking it. I had just gone on my date with Harmony the night before when we began to discuss his new first date. I was feeling confident because I had already received the text from Harmony asking for a second date, so when Pretty Boy asked me what he should do, I said with gusto “Just be yourself.” Looking back on it now, I couldn’t believe I actually said that BS line. If I had a time machine, I’d go back and kick myself in the balls right before I said that line.
Pretty Boy went on his dinner date, which must have gone well because it lasted three hours. After, he stopped by my house to discuss how things went. I can sense his nerves the moment he walks in the door...
“I don’t think she’s interested, man.” His legs bouncing. Cigarette smoking from between his fingers. Index finger from his other hand in his mouth as his snaps off little pieces of nail at a time. We discuss exactly how the date went down and it’s actually not as bad as he may have thought. Apparently Accounting Girl is just... quiet. Because of that, Pretty Boy had to lead most of the conversations. There was a moment when apparently he hit the dreaded “Wall” but he conquered it in a unique way. In the moment of silence, he literally laughed saying “Uh oh, we hit the Wall.” Then started a new conversation. He’d broken through The Wall in a way I had never heard of before! Just simply acknowledge what is happening and move on. I’m definitely going to try that....
Anyway, he analyzes the date and goes over every moment again and again in his head. This is interesting to see because Pretty Boy never does this! He doesn’t “date.” And he definitely doesn't analyze a "date." It’s like watching an endangered species walk right through your backyard... all I could do is stare in wonder at the sight before my eyes.
Finally he decides the next day that he’ll send her a text message saying he had a good time. She responds saying she had fun as well and they set up a second date for the following Sunday to hang out in the afternoon. I’ll keep tabs on Pretty Boy & Accounting Girl’s dates and see what happens. For now I’ll just bask in the fact that even the "Players" of the world seem to have a soft side. Even someone who acts like all they want to do is hook-up with the next bar-girl, there are certain women that will bring them to their knees. There are women out there who can make the wildest jungle cat into a scared, shaken little kitten. It’s not that they’re stern or uber hot or demanding or anything like that, there are just those certain girls who... you can’t really explain it.... They just make your stomach turn in knots, your heartbeat quickens, your mind races for the perfect words to say, there are those women out there for each of us....
...we just need to find one....
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