As a part of my blog, I promised that I would give online dating a try. Browsing the different date-sites, I decided to go with EHarmony. I’ve heard that Adult Friend Finder and Match.com are both “hook-up sites” and while that sounds fun, I really just wanted to try a date for the first time in 10 years. After several questionnaires that reminded me of standardized testing in grade school (remember when you had to bubble in the answers with a #2 pencil?) I finally was able to create a Profile Page on EHarmony. I was as honest as possible in my answers, I obviously wanted to find someone who would just be a fun person to hangout with. And finding that person didn’t take long....
For the sake of this blog, let’s call her Harmony. She and I were a match. Well, according to EHarmony.com’s “prescreened 29 Dimensions of Compatibility,” we were a match. We began chatting through the predetermined, multiple choice questions that the website had supplied for us. After a while we got to the point of actually emailing. She was friendly, sweet, and we seemed to be interested in a lot of the same things. Our emails moved into Instant Messages on Gmail chat. Soon we were having some great conversations as we began to learn more and more about each other. Then it came time to take it to the next level. A first date. Because we are both into artsy kind of movies and documentaries, I suggested either “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (because she had also read the book) or “Babies” (a critically acclaimed documentary). She chose the doc because she was waiting to see the other flick with a friend of hers who had also read the book, which is fine with me and completely understandable. Was a movie about babies the best choice for a first date? I don’t know but we went with it.
Saturday at 3:30pm. This would be my first “first-date” in 10 years. Nervous? F@ckin’ right I was! What do I wear? Should I get there early? What if I’m not interesting enough? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I run out of questions to ask or things to say? What if I hit... the Wall??
Panic mode set in as usual. But I devised a very clever plan. Or at least I thought it was clever at the time. Reading back on our old emails, I created a list of questions and talking points that I saved into my phone. That way, if the conversation stalled, I could simply excuse myself to the restroom and check my cheat-sheet. Yes, this is extremely lame and probably stupid, but what do I know? I’ve been out of this dating game so long that I barely remember how the game is played. I don’t even remember the rules of the game.I arrived early of course and hit up the music store beside the theater. Trying to distract myself, I perused the DVD section of the store, but it was no use. Every time I looked at a DVD I just saw “The Wall.” It was just there, always in the back of my mind, like I was trying to psych myself out. The clock was winding down, it was time to go meet my first date in a decade.
Nervous as all hell, I sat outside the theater pretending to look at Facebook on my phone, again trying to distract myself.
“Charlie Brown?” I hear a sweet voice say beside me. I glance up to see her. Harmony. Almond eyes. Caramel hair tucked behind her ears. Tiny dimples in her cheeks as she smiles at me. Light blue blouse, my favorite color. Holy shit. This girl is WAY too cute to be attracted to me.
I give her a hug out of sheer nerves, not sure what else to do, and say it’s great to finally meet her. We chit-chat as I attempted to make a few jokes to get her to show those cute dimples again as she smiles. Not sure if my jokes really landed or if she was just pity smiling to make me feel better. We continue to talk as I get her some popcorn and a soda before the movie. Sitting in the theater, we get to know each other more, discussing simple things, movies, documentaries, a little about family, I manage to keep the conversation at a good pace. The lights dim and I can relax, my legs stop shaking as I can rest a my nerves for at least 90 minutes.
The movie was kind of lame surprisingly, lot of cute baby stuff but it basically amounted to really long home videos of kids. Not all that fascinating. As the movie goes, my mind starts working again, I manage to come up with a few more talking points in my head for after the movie.
The lights raise as do we, leaving my moment of relaxing behind as we exit the theater. I bring up the talking points that I had thought of during the movie, which makes for some interesting conversation. After that, we decide to head to Katsuya for dinner (a very nice sushi place from what I had been told, never actually been there myself). I offer to drive us there so she leaves her car in the parking garage.
Dinner was delicious and the conversation was so pleasant that I completely forgot about my cheat-sheet on my phone. I managed to relax a little and enjoy myself. All in all, I forgot it was a “date.” Which was a great, amazing thing.
We left the restaurant along with a big chunk of my bank account, that shit was $80! But Harmony was worth every penny. We head back to the theater as she tells me I can just drop her off outside the parking structure so I won’t have to enter and pay again. We say our “I had fun, it was great meeting you”s, she gives me a hug and exits my vehicle. As I pull away, I put in my earpiece for my phone and call up The Count. He immediately asks how the date went... My mind begins to race...
How did it go?
...I have no idea...
I wasn’t really paying attention! Of course, I analyze everything about the evening that I can recall. I definitely used the word “fun” waaaaayyyyyy too much. I feel like I talked about my friends a lot, but they’re a big part of my life so it seemed unavoidable. Was I funny enough? Was I interesting enough? Could she tell I was nervous?
Full. Blown. Panic. Mode.
I really liked this girl and I would definitely want to see her again...but did she like me? Did she want to see me again? How long do I wait until I call or text her? Do I wait a day? Two days? How do I know if she’ll even respond? If she doesn’t like me, will she just come out and say it? Or will it be a long drawn out thing where suddenly she’s “busy” all the time?
I hate dating already. It’s driving me crazy. I need to relax so I set up a Man Day with Pretty Boy and Pistol Pete for the next day. We’re going to head to Santa Barbara and try some wine & cheese tasting. Yes, a very girly Man Day, but a Man Day none-the-less.
Then I here a little “bling!” from my phone. It’s Harmony. She says she was nervous but had fun. Relief washes over me. We continue to text until she says that a friend of hers is having a wine & cheese tasting party the following Saturday and asks me to join her. Serendipity that my Man Day was consistent of the same thing? Or just chance? Could she.....
Wait. Did she just ask me out on a Second Date?????
She did! Holy shnikes. Maybe it went better than I expected. Maybe she likes me the way I like her. Maybe I spend too much time asking myself too many questions.
But what am I going to wear? Is it possible to hit The Wall on the second date?
....to be continued.....
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